Thesis 7: Everything Is Story

Caucasian Grandpa God streaming rays of light from his eyeballs.

We humans are simple animals: in order to survive and thrive, biologically speaking, we only require water, food, shelter, rest, and sex.

However, we’re more than animals, too. We’ve been created with personality, which is the result of a complex intertwining of physicality and morality and consciousness. As a result, we’re the only creatures on the planet that actively seek to give meaning to our brief existences on this rock we call home.

In short, we are wired to believe that there’s more to life than eating, resting, and fucking.

One of the things I love most about scripture is its reliance on myth, story, and metaphor. Simply put, without them, we couldn’t understand God/JC/HS, the bible, or the reason we exist. In many cases, the metaphor or story works well. Christians as stupid, mindless sheep, God as patient shepherd. Valleys of death. Running races and training our faith like athletes train their bodies and minds. Of course, they’re also the reason we picture God as an old man in the sky, Satan as a red-skinned horny asshole, angels as beautiful bird-men in togas, or a single all-knowing apple tree in the middle of the Garden of Eden.

The origins of Church are also, of course, inspired by metaphor. Building on rocks. Tongues of fire. Creepy bridegroom and bridal imagery. As was Jesus’ ministry, which is the inspiration for why we believe what we believe — the dude knew at a cellular level that humans needed metaphor to understand anything. (I mean, really, try to think of eternity without making yourself loopy. I’ll wait.)

Simply put, we can’t begin to process complex ideas without giving them shape based on familiar human things (yes, I just dropped a metaphor), and wrapping them (yup, again) in narrative. Our whole moral existence is defined by the stories we create and mimic.

How to explain the mind-blowing complexity of life and universe? A seven-day make-work project accomplished by Grandpa-above-the-clouds. People hurting each other and continually making bad decisions? Blame a naked woman created from a single rib being seduced by a devil penis snake. The lack of an afterlife giving you stress? How about an eternity of good folks singing along streets of gold or bad ones burning in lakes of fire and torment?

Again (and again, and again), so much of how we understand ourselves and our creator is shaped by how we live here on earth. It make sense that the bible is equally (more?) Valuable as a book of story and poetry and myth as it is a book of literal happenings. Art has always been the best way to see anything, really.

Hold on, EB, are you saying that nothing in the bible actually happened? No, of course not (although many of the things we take for granted as history might not be: I’m looking at you, Jonas). What I am saying is that the best — and yes, worst — of what we believe and who we are comes from myth, story, poetry, and metaphor. We can’t be who we are without those things.

Which is why it pisses me off how stubbornly Christians adhere to literal interpretations of the stories and myths we encounter in the bible, even when the evidence leads us away from them. And worse still, twist reality and the physical laws of the universe into this willful ignorance, and deny the good tools and experiences God has given us here on this planet. Science and common sense might be spiritual gifts, too.

No, the earth wasn’t created 3000 years ago in a 144-hour-long frenzy, and no, Adam and Eve didn’t exist. There were no dinosaurs on the ark, because there was no fucking ark and there was no worldwide flood. There was no physical tower of Babel, and no, every language on earth didn’t emerge from the confusion. Jesus most likely healed mental illnesses rather than casting out demons. Paul’s scales-from-eyes conversion sounds dramatic but probably didn’t happen. And God definitely isn’t a caucasian, bearded being of light streaming sunlight from his eyeballs.

But you know what? I have little fault with people believing fantastic stories as literal truth — we’ve all been there — because, again, story defines us. My real rage is reserved for Church leaders who learn new truths and choose to ignore them and, worse still, keep misleading their flocks because they feel threatened by this incredible knowledge. They pick and choose which metaphors most comfortably prop up their pursuit of power and discard those which challenge it. And when asked or confronted, they dismiss the facts and interpretations as mere theories or construct entire worldviews of fear to keep we the dumbass sheep in line.

(Seriously. God calling us sheep is NOT a compliment.)

Church and faith could be so much more if we embraced what we’ve been shown. Rather than fear and stubbornness defining our story, seeing the stories and metaphors as figurative rather than literal truths doesn’t stifle the message. God is bigger than the seven days and cloudbubble to which we’ve confined him. Jesus broke every expectation with a love we can’t really fathom without story (hello, parables!). And what we believe, also — how much more dynamic and miraculous and wondrous is a faith that has freely moved with and been coloured by the beautiful and tragic human narrative?

We have a good example to follow, after all, one that’s immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine.

Everything is story; Faith; Deconstruction; Religion; Christian; Christianity; Church; Sin; Corruption; Scandal; Bible; Abuse; God; Jesus