Thesis 4: Church is not a Safe Space

Church is not a Safe Space

Fact: they’ve always known, and they will always deny.

I can’t precisely remember when I first learned about the rampant sexual abuses of the Catholic church — honestly, I can’t think of when I didn’t know, either, which means I had to be pretty young — but I do remember the echos of the fervent denials, dismissive rebuttals, and smug indignation thrown out by the protestant sect in which I grew up. I heard a lot of things like, “those Catholics,” “it’s their problem,” “it could/would never happen here,” and the like.

But it was — and still is — happening. Everywhere. Including in every Church that claims to be following Christ.

There’s a shameful passion with which religious institutions deny wrongdoing, especially Church. After story A breaks about abuse B at church C, it’s as predictable as the turning of the earth that C will do everything it can to protect itself first. Occasionally, and only after lengthy inquiries and lawsuits and criminal charges/convictions, we might hear a weak attempt to make amends and/or to affect change. But never, and I mean not-fucking-ever, do we hear first a commitment to the victims to find the truth, much less an admission of wrongdoing or an attempt at restitution.

Obviously I wish most of all that we didn’t create these structures in such a way that promote abuse, and that the abuses never happened. But they have, and do, and will, so when they do, once, just once, I’d like to hear, “We’ll figure this out, and we believe the victims” or “I fucked up, I’m sorry, and I’ll accept whatever consequence comes.”

I know, I know. I’m dreaming.

Church of my youth carries these crosses:

• youth pastor sexually assaults a minor at church, the church settles the case to keep her quiet, the pastor keeps working for another 15 years before it comes out;

• youth pastor abuses his wife and children;

• youth pastor makes lewd comments to the young women in his youth group and is allowed to continue leading;

• young woman who has been sexually assaulted is told not to talk about it; youth pastor cheats on his wife and kids and is allowed to continue giving pre-marriage sessions to young couples;

• senior pastor embezzles funds but is allowed to retire rather than face prosecution;

• popular youth group member is accused and convicted of rape but is permitted to keep his leadership position and is defended by pretty much everyone;

• senior pastor makes fun of marginalized and vulnerable members of the community and is permitted to keep leading;

• suspected LGBTQ youth are publicly outed and targeted for conversion therapy;

• pregnant teenager is forced at age 17 to marry the father of the baby, also 17...
  

...and so on.

Now, these are just the things that came out (after the fact, naturally) from the handful of churches I attended, let’s say, before the age of 20. And, of course, these are the crimes of  Western, suburban, privileged, white, middle-class places of worship, as reported by members of the same demographic (myself included). And finally, although tragic, let’s be clear: these are micro violations when compared with the macro scale of abuse and coverups our churches have propagated over the centuries:

• Genocidal policies and actions against indigenous peoples;

• Widespread sexual abuse of minors;

• Widespread pornographic exploitation of minors;

• Systemic shaming and exclusion of members of LGBTQS+ communities;

• Continued misogynistic suppression of women’s rights;

• Continued oppression of BIPOC communities by legacy colonial attitudes and systems…

And on, and on, and on…

No one is safe in Church. No one. Not you, not me, and especially not our vulnerable neighbours.

And Church isn’t doing a damn thing about it, and won’t, until a reckoning happens to break down the human-made structures that have supplanted the good message of Christ and his churches on this planet (which is: love God/JC/HS, love your neighbour, love each other, full stop). For the past 2000 years, we’ve invested in the wrong things, and what’s emerged is massive edifices and institutions that are so valuable they can only protect themselves at all costs.

What’s resulted is money and power, not ministry, and uncountable institutions that are incapable of caring about and for people, much less making amends for centuries of abuse. What about the individuals in Church? Can they do these things? Sure, and there are lots of good folks out there with good intentions. But most of us are also so invested in the institution that we can’t see that what we’re feeding is not each other, but the machine of faith. And machines will never admit wrongdoing on their own..

All of which is, of course, a blood-soaked irony of a Godthing that’s supposed to care as deeply as Christ did.

And Jesus wept.

He’s still weeping.

Keywords: Church is not a Safe Space; Faith; Deconstruction; Religion; Christian; Christianity; Church; Sin; Corruption; Scandal; Bible; Abuse