Thesis 17: Predatory Youth Pastors (Church Is Not a Safe Space, Part II)

Thesis 17: Predatory Youth Pastors

I learned the day before yesterday that the youth pastor who led the young folks at our church is a sexual predator who was active while I was under his care. He sexually abused a girl, who we’ll call Jill, who was also in the group but a year ahead of me, a friendly acquaintance more than a friend. I’m heartbroken for her. I believe the victims.

But I’m incandescent with rage at the church.

In an effort to keep Jill quiet, the senior pastor and elders settled with her and her family away from court. No charges were filed against that pedophilic Shitbag, and it all went away until it came out fifteen years later, with Shitbag gleefully leading other churches and youth the entire time. He was let go from the church he was working at and “deposed” from the congregational pastor list, ending his career.

He still hasn’t been charged, which is an offence against decency but unfortunately isn’t unusual. Pastors have an alarming predilection towards abusing the kids in their care, and not a week goes by without another “man of God” making his filthy way into the news.

My youth was filled with religious and spiritual abuses of every kind other than physical or sexual (as I briefly talked about in Thesis 4: Church isn’t a Safe Space), but my story pales in comparison to Jill’s. My relationship to Shitbag was uncomfortable — he was far too intense with his words and eye contact and was a bit touchy-feely — but not abusive. Still, the youth knew something was off. We spoke openly about how “weird” Shitbag was, and the parents and adults in the congregation were also uncomfortable. His contract wasn’t renewed and was asked to leave. We learned later that he abused his wife and kids and left them while pastoring at the next church.

He was a bad fit, and a horrible human.

This, too, isn’t terribly surprising. Lots of people are shitty at their jobs, and there are plenty of horrible people out there in jobland. Pastors are just church employees, after all, and are no different. But as history shows time and again, from Catholic to Pentecostal to Mormon and all points in between, power and leadership has the tragic ability to make religious men horny. The vulnerable in their flocks, of course, are the ones who get the abuse and carry that cross. And the fuckers doing the abusing? Smug, secure, and rarely held to account.

This is another consequence of bad Church. As I explored in Thesis 11: Your Pastor is Lying to You, it’s clear churches shouldn’t be led by solitary men with God complexes for all sorts of reasons, but most importantly because it’s unbiblical. Youth pastors fall under this same criticism for all of the same reasons.

But this heresy becomes even worse and more wrong when children and minors are involved. When powerful men circle their patriarchal wagons to protect their own, Satan rejoices because he loves nothing more than rot to spread through God’s people. In addition to widespread, outright denial, we see abominations like settlements, NDAs, gag orders, and the unforgivable sin of shaming the victims for coming forward.

Which of course promotes even more silence through fear, as stories and crimes get buried. My church certainly made no effort to see if Shitbag hurt anyone else. I and none of my friends were contacted, which is tragic because there’s an almost 100% likelihood that he did more bad things while leading our youth (“asked to leave” now implies much more than simply a bad fit). Given his history, I’m certain there are more sexual victims out there who’re afraid to speak out.

Is our story unique? Not even a little.

Church just isn’t learning its lessons on this, and won’t as long as solitary, powerful men make the decisions for everyone else. Youth pastors will keep abusing, and Church will continue shielding them, because power only knows how to feed and protect itself. And innocent kids like Jill — and a million more minors — will continue to be abused, victimized, and killed all because men can’t imagine a world where they can’t just molest whomever they choose and get away with it.

Including children. God help us.

Keywords: Thesis 17: Predatory Youth Pastors; Faith; Deconstruction; Religion; Christian; Christianity; Church; Sin; Corruption; Scandal; Bible; Abuse; God; Jesus; Stewardship