Thesis 12: Our Golden Calf Has Orange Hair and is Spelled MAGA
- EB Rowan
- Sep 27, 2024
- 3 min read
Remarkably enough, Trump isn’t the problem. Church is. Church built MAGA, and is back in the idol business.
Simply put, Christians are so afraid that the world is going to leave us behind, that we’ve grabbed whatever we can in the hopes that it can save us from irrelevance. Make no mistake: none of the social issues that divide us have much to do with actual faith (i.e. the Bible doesn’t talk about them much, if at all. Even the ones you think are covered, aren’t) but the misinterpreted, patchwork theologies humans (men) have created.
More than that, we’ve plated it in gold and are sacrificing everything we HAVE been called to believe and do and hold dear to lift it up. (See: golden calves.)
How do I know? Let me start to count the ways…
When Church talks more about MAGA than serving the poor…
When Trump rallies draw more of the faithful than worship services do…
When Christians advocate for putting migrant children in cages…
When guns have more rights than the vulnerable…
When racist ideologies are given more pulpit time than local charities are…
When major “Christian” leaders draw false dichotomies that ignore Christ (freedom vs socialism, say)…
You see, Church knows that it has built an unsustainable and unbiblical version of itself. It knows that power and money are running ministry rather than love and service. It knows that the only way to distract from the monster that it has become is to further causes that are louder than the objections to it. Church decision makers (no, not local pastors, many of whom are as ignorant and naïve as the sheep, sometimes more so) have read the tea leaves and seen the future, and (spoiler) have chosen this last-gasp attempt to hold on to what they have.
The Franklin Grahams of the world love their big salaries and power. They’ll do anything to keep them, including worshipping an orange-haired, lying buffoon who doesn’t give a fuck about them or Christ but who needs their votes. They’ll even demonize the social-leaning Kamalas of the world, even though they know that their policies are closer to EVERY FUCKING THING that Jesus taught. (See also: today’s Church doesn’t want to follow Christ because Money.)
Though it’s enjoying a frighteningly totalitarian moment in the sun, Church is dying. No, don’t try to equivocate, because the numbers are plain, out there, conclusive, and real. People are fleeing right-leaning Church in droves because they know that what we’ve built is rotten. Even if MAGA and its douchebag idol win this round, and maybe the next, people are still going to leave.
And so should you. Jesus was a pacifist, communal, socialized teacher with a passion for helping the needy and vulnerable, and any Church that doesn’t make these things its second priority after loving God (the Bible says that somewhere, I seem to recall) isn’t Christian, full stop, end of fucking story. If your pastor says you should vote for Trump because he’s the only biblical choice, he doesn’t know the Bible, or Jesus.
He does, however, know idolatry.
Thoughts and Prayers: Heavenly Father, rain down fire on Trump and his cult-building, fascist, racist, anti-Christian minions. Especially the ones leading churches. Then burn down the churches or set them free to serve the needy and vulnerable. Right now. Amen.
Keywords: Our Golden Calf Has Orange Hair and is Spelled MAGA; Faith; Deconstruction; Religion; Christian; Christianity; Church; Sin; Corruption; Scandal; Bible; Abuse; God; Jesus; Stewardship
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